Thursday, March 10, 2011

Pimp Daddy Darkseid

As far as I know Darkseid has only made 2 appearances in the original Suicide Squad series. But o boy were they some classic Darkseid moments. This posting has been a concept I've had for quite a while now but it's always given way to other posting ideas for some reason. But because a friend of mine who is going through some bullshit right now that I am all too familiar with I finally decided to get to it. Unfortunately there is a lot of truth to that whole "nice guys finish last" cliche. In order to make certain your the one in the driver's seat instead of the one being taken for a ride on the highway of love it requires you exert a certain amount of "assertiveness" at times. Being kind of emotionally distant often works well and I've talked about that before on this blog in regards to Rick Flag and Ben Turner a.k.a Bronze Tiger. But Darkseid really has the whole schtick down best. Here he is giving a mission briefing to the Female Furies when one of them actually is stupid enough to question his wishes ( Suicide Squad # 3).
Ya see that? No explanation required. It's a simple matter of what Darkseid wants discussion over. In this next bit of clip art we see what happened after a rather climatic battle between Task Force X and "friends" against the forces of Granny Goodness on Apocalypse (Suicide Squad # 37) . As you all should know by now Lashina kidnapped many members of the Squad, Barda, Flo and even Waller herself and took them to Apocalypse to be used as cannon fodder while she tries to win her place back as leader of The Female Furies. As you see here that in and of it's self wasn't her biggest mistake.
Do you see that "oh shit!" look on her face? I think this is the first time that Lashina has ever displayed fear. We've seen her pissed, frustrated and even delighted from time to time. But scared? Well who wouldn't be if they were about to be "pimp slapped" by Darkseid's Omega Beams. So guys, when your feeling troubled by the ambiguous behavior and mixed messages by members of the opposite sex in the treacherous arena of dating just think to yourself, what would Darkseid do?

I'm adding a quick update here on Thursday morning CA. Pacific Time. The latest Task Force X retirement files couldn't have been posted at a more perfect time! Check it out:


  1. Lets face it.
    Have you ever seen Darkseid on a date?
    Or just with female company?
    He had a son but... Weird things are supposed to happen ih apokolips.
    Do you know if Lashina survide that day?
    I thought she had died then, but I think I saw her in something since then, so I'm not sure.

  2. hello there Aliera. i'm pretty sure Lashina isn't dead. i've seen her in some stuff here and there since that issue. Kalibak is Darkseid's biological son as far as i know. i have no idea who the mother is but i'm sure she didn't get with him for his looks.

  3. I'm pretty sure if Darkseid had all of his female subjects standing about and pointed to one and said "YOU" said female would be hard pressed to utter the word no if she wanted to remain alive. On the other hand, there are plenty of sick, twisted females who would want him just to be able to say, yeah, I was with the Lord of Apokolips. Who was your baby-daddy?

  4. - "You there! Come."
    - "Yes my lord!" she comes eager to please...

    I'm imagining T-shirts saying "I'm in team Darkseid!"

  5. forget Darkseid ladies, how about being part of Team David?
    just a head's up folks, new Task Force X Retirement Files posting now up. See Siskoid's Blog of Geekery in blog role. and wait until you see this one! it was posted just today right after this latest posting here. it' very ironic!

  6. Haha! Aliera, I'm more than certain Darkseid could smack the sparkle out of 'ole Edward. And all the brooding out of Jacob. Besides which, I kinda find him more appealing than either one of them. Which, by the way, isn't saying much. And Dave, the t-shirts would definitely need a picture of you holding that hammer on it.

  7. i must say ladies, i rather like the idea of just me and the two of you in the comments section of this particular posting so far. i dare say if this posting was a car the windows would be pretty much impossible to see out of by now. but let's not have any more Twilight talk please, it kills the mood.

  8. What? Sparkly vampires don't do it for you? I'm shocked.

  9. I was going to ask who were Ed and Jacob, but I get it now.
    Sparkly vampires don't do it for me either.
    I used to read all of those Anne Rice books when I was a young girl, and for how much that I liked them then, I think I was vaccined.
    Sparkling in the sun or just bursting to flames, vampires don't appeal that much to me anymore.
    I'm a sunny person even if I have a cold right now.

  10. sorry to hear your not feeling well Aliera. when ever there is a late night comment left on this blog i can be sure it's coming from my favorite Portuguese woman :)

  11. Thank you.
    Today is anti-piretics and lemon tea to me.

  12. wow. Don't go and see Little Red Riding Hood then ladies. It can't decide if it wants to be a gothic fairy tale, a horror movie, or a teen monster romance novel. So it tries to be all 3 at the same time. FYI I didn't pick the date night movie.

  13. This was a great post :D 'The Darkseid guide to love and happiness' I think I would buy a copy. Burns your Bacon - fry her with omega beams, talks during your fav movie - fry her with omega beams, etc etc

    In fact I think if ol' DS actually did shack up he'd go with someone wholesome and un aware - like legally blonde or something :D

  14. crickey! where have ya been mate? on walk about? just kidding. you actually had some of us worried. email me when you can we got some catching up to do.